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 The Geeks Bro

I am the Geek's brother, and I am not a Disneygeek. At least not in the traditional sense… You see, I enjoy going to Disney theme parks and what not, but at the same time I have certain views that could be construed as "anti" Disney. I mean I took the time and effort to design this website, so I guess that some might say that I am a Disneygeek, but honestly, I feel Disney as a whole is a cult that is trying to take over the world!!! So I don't consider myself a true Disneygeek, but rather a quasi-Disneygeek. Let me explain why I feel that Disney is a cult.

Many of you have probably heard of a small town in Florida, called Celebration. Heck, some of you may even live in that town, and for you it is already too late I fear (if you do live there, I would love to hear from you, and what its like to live in that town, email me at thegeeksbro@disneygeek.com). Anyways, this town is completely owned and operated by Disney! Now that's just a bit odd to me, and if you have ever visited this town, it is downright scary. When we drove through it I noticed all sorts of horrible things. Children were outside playing, and as we drove by, they all stopped and waved to us smiling broadly. Why? When I was younger and playing with my friends, if a car interrupted us, I would often scowl at them for getting in the way, I didn't smile and wave unless I knew the people, but these kids just looked unbelievably happy, and it was scary. There are other examples that I could go into as to why this town gave me nightmares, but to be honest, I am just getting off-track on why I decided to right this little piece in the first place.

I was asked by the Geek to put together a little article, that he hopes to be a recurring ordeal, with me writing once a week, a month, or whenever. We shall see. Anyways, my little column has to do with, as the title would suggest, the good, the bad, and the ugly of Disney as I see it. Basically it will be a column dedicated to me sitting around and chastising any and everything I can think of about Disney, with an occasional good comment thrown in to show I am not too biased. I warn you, I can get to be quite long winded, and tend to ramble on and on, but I feel I bring an interesting perspective to this site, which many people can appreciate. I call it the "normal persons perspective". You see, I like most people have no clue how tall the castle is at Disneyland; hell I can't even remember the name of it! I can't sit and spew forth Disney trivia answers like the Geek can, and I don't really care about the theme of the ride as long as I enjoy it. So now that you have an idea of where I am coming from, here goes:

Since I just recently went to Disney's California Adventure, I figure I will start out my column series talking about it.

The good:

I got to tell you, I didn't hate this park. In fact I kind of enjoyed it. Certain things about it however stood out as downright good.

California Screaming: In a word, Dang! Somebody at Disney finally got it. People like rides that go-fast! And this ride lives up to its name. I like coasters, always have always will, and this one is a lot of fun. I think the best part about it is how quiet it is. It like it is just gliding along on the tracks, no familiar clunk clunk as it goes up the big hill and what not. Plus it's got a decent soundtrack adding to the enjoyment.

Maliboomer (aka the ride that shoots you up in the air and bounces you around): This ride was a lot of fun. Another "thrill" type ride, it shoots you up into the air pretty dang fast, and as gravity dictates, you come back down just as fast. At the top you get a great view depending on which way you are facing too. However, this ride is very short, very short… It's a lot of fun, but use the single rider line to your advantage! While the regular line is usually longer than 30 minutes, the single rider line often walks right up and on the ride… On that thought:

Single rider lines: USE THESE!!!! I mean you don't really like the people you came with anyways, so utilize these much shorter lines as a way to not only get on the ride faster, but also meet new people. I like em, and highly recommend them when lines get long.

Soarin over Cali: Downright nifty ride this Soarin' thing is. I mean, not to sound too crazy, it feels like you are flying. I like that. Plus the ride smells like oranges, can't beat that.

Hot dog place: I like hot dogs, what can I say!

The wave fountain under the big sun thingy at the entrance: This thing is just cool looking to me.

The Muppets 3D show: Muppets rule, what can I say. Yeah it's the same show as the one in Florida, but I liked that show, so I like this one too!!!

GRR: You gotta love a ride where the geek puts on a rain poncho to stay dry, and you don't, and he gets wet, and you come off fairly unscathed!!! It was a classic moment in Disney lore for me… Plus the ride is just fun and the nickname for it is GRR.

The little playland thingy: Fun for all ages, just be sure to knock the little kids out of the way so you get to play on all the cool toys…


McDonalds in the park: In a word- RIPOFF! So expensive… makes no sense to me why people wait in line 20 minutes to pay like 10 bucks for a value meal, when you can spend that same amount of time walking out of the park, and across the street to a real Mickey D's and pay only slightly inflated prices as opposed to really inflated prices. Notice, you will see the value menu prices up on the big board as you go to order, and say hey, 4.59 for a number 1 sounds about right. Well look closer my friend; you don't get a drink with that!!! Sneaky aint they!

The smell as you walk in the park: What is that smell, and more importantly, where is it coming from. Smells like burnt toast!!! I don't like it one bit!!!

The smell by the winery: I realize that grapes need fertilizer to grow, but I don't have to like it!!!

The Hollywood ride: Scary, scary, and scary!!! Those little guys in the ride are scary looking!!! I don't know about you, but I had nightmares about those guys! Plus the ride seems to serve little purpose. Upon first starting the ride, It looked kind of cool, a lot like Rockin' Roller Coaster in Florida, but then the ride actual goes, and you realize it just aint that great.


Mulhuland Madness: Lawsuit waiting to happen!!! Can you say whiplash!! This ride was painful for me to ride, not just because I barley fit in the ride, but it hurts to ride… I hear tell they closed the ride down recently, good for them!!!

The line on Screamin': Whoever thought up the design for that line needs to be fired!!! I mean to get to the fast pass distribution area you have to bowl through the line for the ride!!! Not smart, in fact many of the lines are a pain to deal with in crowded situations, like the line for GRR ( I like saying that GRR, remember, its not G-R-R, but GRR, like you are growling!!!) It's a scary situation when that line gets long, and soaring gets really, really, really long, they meet, and its utter chaos trying to get around that area!!!

Waiting in line over an hour for a Ferris wheel: Why, answer me that, I mean it's a Ferris wheel? I don't get it, and probably never will.

The Price of an Icee, frozen coke, slushie, slurpie, whatever those things are called: Where do they get off charging almost 4 bucks for those things. It's just not right, they know the addictive qualities of those things, so they know they can jack up the price and we will still buy em!!! It's not right!!! It's just not right!!!

You know what, there is more to talk about here, but I am gonna end it anyways… I think I have rambled long enough. Feel free to email me to agree, disagree, or just comment on anything I have said here. You aren't going to hurt my feelings, and I don't intend to hurt anyone either. So there you have it, my first column, maybe this will get the Geek off my back!

Send comments, questions, any other email to: thegeeksbro@disneygeek.com


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